When self-awareness becomes a transformative force: a personal account

Hrönn Ingólfsdóttir has been on a leadership journey for the past four years. Hrönn is the Director of Corporate Strategy and Sustainability at Isavia ohf., which is responsible for the development and operation of Keflavik International Airport in Iceland. Hrönn shares her personal thoughts on her journey. 

When Isavia began its cultural journey almost four years ago, we didn't know what we were getting into. Our consultants from Conscious Consulting told us to ‘trust the process.’ I decided to do so, and that decision changed my life forever.

Looking back, what made you decide to go all in and start your own personal journey? How did it come about?

Since I was given the role of being the change leader for the cultural journey in the company, I was determined to be a role model and take part in the journey full force. I therefore participated in all the training that was part of the journey and immediately started to attend coaching. I was then offered to participate in leadership training in Denmark, where the latest theories in leadership are used in combination with the wisdom of the indigenous people of North America in all self-work. But as we know the self-work, the vertical development, is the foundation for being a good leader.

In what ways has your journey affected your personal life?

It has had a big impact on my personal life. I was told by my coach shortly after we started working together that I had a ‘workhorse’ mind. It was described as me being in a constant state of stress and always having my head at work even though I was at home. I was physically present, but my head was at work and my listening was therefore not active. I have completely changed this and what helped me the most to was that I started meditating every day and still do.

The key is to always be aware, to be present in the situation you are in at any given time and not think about the past or the future. I don’t pretend to be perfect. Of course, I forget myself sometimes, but I am relatively quick to get back on track. I recommend regular meditation any day.

How have you evolved as a manager?

When we started the journey, I was a manager with a high level of perfectionism. But that was precisely what emerged as my biggest weakness in the 360° Leadership Feedback (Life Styles Inventory) that we did in the beginning of the journey. It meant that I was far too controlling towards my team. So much so that they felt compelled to submit everything they did to me. I simply stole their initiative and stifled their learning and development. We managed to fix this together as a team by building trust among us and talking to each other honestly. If I make a mistake today, they will simply correct me.

I have been a manager for over 25 years, but it is only now that I feel like I can truly say that I am a leader and take it to heart. It took a lot of self-work to get to that point.

Has adopting a constructive behaviour changed your overall well-being in any way?

In the 360° leadership assessment, I was rated strong in constructive behaviour skills. However, there were some dark spots that I carried with me from my upbringing that meant I was not very good at standing up for myself against the aggressive behaviour of co-workers. This has changed with increased skills in constructive conversations and active listening.

Looking back, what do you see? Did you expect this to be where you would be in four years?

At the time, I had no idea what we were getting into and was quite wary when we started the journey. My fear made me feel bad about not knowing what was ahead and not having control. I had always divided my life into a work life on the one hand and a personal life on the other, which I let few people into.

So, I was initially very afraid of exposing myself. However, I had decided to fully participate so I had to be brave and trust the process. I didn’t know where it would lead me and I never could have imagined it four years ago.

What have you learned about yourself?

I have been in additional leadership training outside of Isavia’s cultural journey where I go deeper into self-work. That journey has greatly strengthened my intuition and made me curious about many things.

I am always learning something new. I have found that it is quite possible to teach an old dog new tricks.

I have learned that I am strong, courageous, persistent and caring and I possess more wisdom than I had realised.

What was the hardest and most unexpected learning?

What I found the hardest at the beginning was connecting my work life and my personal life. It involved sharing things from my past, like events from my childhood that I had kept to myself but that I needed to work with because they were influencing my behaviours in the present. By sharing these experiences, I saw clearly that everyone has their own history because no one goes through life without the challenges that shape us.

The most surprising thing was realising recently that my shadow ‘workhorse’ that I thought I had mastered early on in my journey was still at work. It was so deeply ingrained in me that I found myself using its characteristics to succeed in my self-work instead of showing myself kindness and allowing things to happen naturally. So once again I had to deal with myself and adjust.

The most valuable thing about the cultural journey is that I was reminded of the importance of curiosity, of constantly learning something new and developing myself. Self-work can be difficult, but it is especially rewarding if we show the courage to do it. As we grow as individuals, our ability to communicate with others increases and we become much greater together. Self-awareness is a transformative force.

Hrönn Ingólfsdóttir,

Director of Corporate Strategy and Sustainability,
Isavia ohf.